Well Rounded Birth Prep

Well Rounded Birth Prep

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

One man's trash is another man's treasure?

A few days ago, I was making small talk with another mom who asked me what I do for a living. I told her that I homeschool my 4 kids and I teach childbirth classes. That's an interesting conversation opener. You'd be surprised how many people automatically start telling me about their births--even men, sharing how their wife had to have 2 Cesareans and why.

Like so many others, she told me how she has had cesareans with all three of her kids. She didn't say why she "needed" her first cesarean, but she did say that she scheduled her cesareans with the next two children. After all, her dad had read on the internet about "those VBACs." (I'm not making this up.) Besides, she elaborated, it made it so much easier to schedule her in-laws' visit around the scheduled C-section, and her husband could plan ahead when he needed to take off work.

I smiled and nodded. She didn't ask me any questions, and I didn't give her any commentary. I didn't even tell her how my own children were born. Someone changed the subject, and that was fine.

Then I received a text message from a friend who is a doula. She had been keeping me updated for days about her VBAC client's progress. She had texted me a few times for advice or encouragement, and I was honored to be a text-witness to something amazing. The text I received while sitting with this mother: "VBAC!!!!!!" Yes, she had finally achieved her VBAC after a 60 hour, unmedicated hospital VBAC. She worked so hard for that birth, not just those 60 hours but for the previous 40-ish weeks, preparing for and working toward this birth, overcoming incredible obstacles from her previous traumatic birth.

It was an interesting juxtaposition to observe, sitting at the table with a mother who knows nothing about what her body is capable of or designed to accomplish with birth, who was content with her three cesareans and said she would schedule cesareans if they have any future children, then receiving that text: "VBAC!!!!!!" Knowing what incredible event had just transpired, and how much that mother had wanted it--what victory.

It's interesting to observe who is content with what and why.


  1. That is interesting. I kind of feel sorry for people who make it sound like giving birth is the same thing as planning for a wedding. Why not send invitations to the family announcing the c-section so everyone can come and celebrate! UGH! So annoying and really a shame that some women HAVE NO CLUE and don't realize the GIFT they have been given to give birth naturally.

  2. I am learning to know when to speak and when not to, and how save my energy. I have heard similar conversations where I did speak and later felt as if it wasn't effective. So now I merely try to plant seeds and often share a little of my own experiences. On the other hand it feels so awesome to get an a phone call or message like the one I received the other day,from a Mom wanting to hear and learn. Those are the ones I need to use my energy on, and each time I do..I too feel energized!

  3. Kid u not, I had my neighbor tell me that I "women have no excuse to be uninformed in America." and continued to tell me that HER doctor had given HER informed consent and HER hospital wouldnt have done the same things to her. Fact of matter: HER hostpital/provider was the SAME as MINE. The same DR who induced me at 36weeks and told me I needed an emergency in the middle of pushing (bc it was 2 hours and that was the limit). The fact is that some people choose to believe what they hear and have an easier time accepting that what they hear is all there is to hear. I will admit I was ignorant and in admiting that I have been able to work toward a natural birth. It wasnt an ideal birth but it most definitely was more informed and ended in a normal vaginal delivery (VBAC) unlike my "informed" friend who told her doctor she would just schedule a cesarean.


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