So thankful to make a difference.

I had such a wonderful private childbirth class tonight, for two couples, first time parents. This was my second private class for them, and while I really *need* 12-15 hours of face-to-face contact to cover what first-time parents need to know, I had to condense it to 6 hours (2 private classes, each 3 hours long). I couldn't shortchange them; I had to stay to cover what they needed/wanted covered, 1 1/2 hours "late" tonight. I didn't charge extra and didn't want to. I *wanted* to help. It is my pleasure, my joy, my heart's desire.

I so relate to one of my midwives' recent blog (Jennifer Stewart of Joy in Birth Midwifery) titled, "Can I help you? Please?". I can't stand to see mothers have traumatic births when there were preventable interventions that led to the trauma. (I'm not implying that all interventive births are traumatic, because they are not. I'm not implying that all traumatic births are preventable, because they are not. Many are both, and therein lies my struggle.) I don't teach childbirth classes because I hope to get rich in the process. (Trust me, childbirth educators, doulas, and midwives do not get paid much. They're in it because they believe in it.) I teach birth classes because I am compelled to, driven to. It would be unethical if I did not share this information, not for my sake or glory, but so that families have the evidence-based info they need to make empowered, educated decisions regarding their pregnancies, birth, breastfeeding, parenting, and childbearing year.

When I hear that a friend or acquaintance who turned down my help has an outcome she did not want, a traumatic birth that did not have to be, separation due to complications and/or NICU, I am so distraught for them. Sometimes I cry for days, mourning for their loss. I pray for their recovery, for health for mom and baby, and for God to make a way to reunite and bond the family.

I realize that not everyone wants my help. I try to mind my own business and only give information if they ask. It's so hard to sit aside and say nothing if I see that a family is making fear-based decisions or are accepting the default routine interventions that their care provider does to everyone in their assembly-line birth practice. I can accept any decisions that someone makes for their birth--if I feel confident that they have researched their options thoroughly and are making their decisions with purpose, rather than by default or backed into a corner. Just ask my variety of clients I have served: planned homebirth with midwives clients; birth center with midwives clients; hospital unmedicated birth clients; planned induction clients; and elective scheduled cesarean clients. Regardless of their choices, I want them to know what their options are and how to have the safest birth possible, considering their circumstances.

Tonight was so refreshing. It's easy to become weary when looking at American maternity care as a whole. It's easy to get discouraged when so many expectant parents turn down my help, saying, "Thanks, but I trust my doctor. I'm sure s/he wouldn't do anything unsafe," without researching their birth options. These two couples, each expecting their first child, were eager learners and renewed my soul. They were thankful for my help. Once in a while, God puts people like this in our lives to help recharge and inspire us so we can continue with our work. I'm reminded why I do what I do, and that while I can't help everyone, I am making a difference for *someone*. I'm so thankful for that.